It is 2014. Instead
of making a list of resolutions that I know I will not keep, I want to share
this story and the five things that I was reminded because of it.
I went to Wal-Mart today.
I needed to get the oil changed in my car and I needed a few other
things as well. As usual, though
Wal-Mart has about 30 checkout aisles, only four were open, so I knew I was
going to have to wait. No big deal. Every open aisle had at least two people with
loaded baskets. Again, this only
confirmed that I was going to have to wait.
The aisle I chose had a man checking out with his two sons. I noticed them right away because he was
buying a vacuum cleaner along with quite a few other items. There was a man behind them, already looking
rather impatient. While I moved to the
line, two more people lined up behind me, a woman and another man. Neither one of them had more items than they
could carry. As I walked closer, I could
see that the first man was in distress.
He had a lost look about him. His
eyes were red-rimmed and he looked completely defeated. All of his items were bagged up and ready to
take to the car when he realized that he couldn’t find his debit card. He was looking for it and his two sons were
looking for it. No luck. He was very apologetic and asked the cashier
if he could just leave the basket full of items next to the register and run
home to get his card. The sweet cashier
said that would be fine, but that she would have to void the sale. I really felt for the guy. His younger son, who looked about four, had
some popcorn chicken in his hands. Fortunately,
the man was able to find enough cash to pay for the chicken so the kiddo wouldn’t
have to give it back. He and his sons
moved to the side and this is when he dropped the bomb. “I’m so sorry m’am,” he said to the cashier, “This
normally doesn’t happen, but I just lost my wife. I can’t seem to find anything now that she’s
gone and I just don’t know what to do.”
His eyes started welling up with tears and his hands started
shaking. The man who had been waiting
between this family and me began putting his items, including a fishing pole,
on the conveyer belt, not even acknowledging what this poor man had just
said. He didn’t make eye contact or
speak one word. It was as he was getting
ready to pay that the first gentleman shouted, “We found it! We found it!”
He and his older son (who looked about fourteen) had found his debit
card! They didn’t have to run home. “Can I pay for my things now?” he asked the cashier. She smiled and said, “You can, but you’ll
have to go to the end of the line unless it’s ok with all of these people
behind you.” The woman behind me looked
up and said, “WHAAAAAAAAT? What is happening?”
I explained to her that the man needed to get back in line so he could
buy his things. Indignant, she rolled
her eyes, huffed, and stormed away. I said, “It doesn’t
matter to me sir. Go ahead. I can wait and I am so sorry to hear about
your loss.” It was then that the man
began to talk as if he hadn’t had anyone to talk to in days. He told me that he lost his wife three days
after Christmas. She wasn’t ill. She’d had an aneurism. She was fine one day and then was just gone. They had been married for 33 years. The older boy was his natural son and he and
his wife had just adopted the younger son.
He said that she took care of everything. The bills, the house, the kids, him. He continually thanked me for allowing him to
go ahead of me as he told me his story. He
kept saying, “I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I just don’t know what I’m going to do.” I listened.
I cried with him. My heart broke
for him. I don’t even know his
name. Here are the five things that I
was reminded by this encounter:
5. Notice – The man in front of me, the one with the fishing
pole, and the woman behind me were too wrapped up in being inconvenienced to
notice that a man was hurting. I will be
a person who notices.
4. Listen –
The man who lost his wife needed someone to listen. His situation was not going to change, but he
needed to say some things out loud. I
will be a person who listens.
3. Pray – I told
the man that tonight I would pray for him and his family. I will pray for a comfort somewhere in all of
his pain. I believe that prayer makes a
difference. I will be a person who prays.
2. Love – While
he was talking to me and the two of us were crying together, the gentleman said,
“I tell myself that even though things are tough, I know that there are others
who are hurting worse than me right now.”
There are people all around who are hurting. I will be a person who shows compassion. I will be a person who loves.
1. Live –
This man’s wife died quickly and with no warning. This is a reminder that there is no promise
of tomorrow. With this in mind, I want
to stop missing things. I will be a
person who lives.
